May 21, 2010

• Mama

  I miss Mama so much it makes me feel physically sick sometimes. I’m finding I understand her better with every day that goes by, and it seems the more I understand her, the more I long to have her near me again.

  The things I would tell her
  The things I would ask her
  The things I would apologize for
  The things I would thank her for

  Many times a day I ask myself, “Did I cause Mama to feel this way? Did she cry like this when I wasn’t looking? Did she stuff things down inside to keep them from surfacing and looking like she was trying to guilt me? Did she get angry at me and then feel horrible for it even though she had a reason to be angry? Did she wonder if I would wonder these things one day?

  Well, Mama, I do.
  And I wish you were here to hold me again.
  

  • 7:42 am
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