I just noticed that my last two entries have been private ones. I can’t help but wonder if that makes a statement about the way I’ve felt much of the time lately. Life in guarded mode. I’m pretty sure I don’t like it at all.

I just made them public. Who am I if I can’t blog the real me, blahs and all?

I’m tired of feeling sad. This isn’t me. This is not my life.

I’m tired of being misunderstood, of having assumptions made about me and me not even knowing about it until days or weeks later and then not having a clue how to fix what I didn’t know what broken.

I’m tired of hoping something will ease up and feeling hopelessness settle in like a solid case of arthritis when nothing happens.

I’m tired of feeling horribly hormonal way too many days of the month lately. A couple of days a month I can handle, but this is getting to be too much. Is this going to be what turning 47 feels like?