November 4, 2010
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Tired
I’m tired of feeling sad. This isn’t me. This is not my life.
I’m tired of being misunderstood, of having assumptions made about me and me not even knowing about it until days or weeks later and then not having a clue how to fix what I didn’t know what broken.
I’m tired of hoping something will ease up and feeling hopelessness settle in like a solid case of arthritis when nothing happens.
I’m tired of feeling horribly hormonal way too many days of the month lately. A couple of days a month I can handle, but this is getting to be too much. Is this going to be what turning 47 feels like?
Comments (2)
As per my comment on fb last night…I am discovering a lot of Christians are feeling beaten down and I have been contemplating that this morning. After a personal attack last night I feel Satan is running scared. God has big plans and he is afraid. You and I as others are being beaten down to slow us down and try to distract us from this plan. Last night I failed. As I have done in the past, I believed in someone I thought I could trust, only to find Satan spouting lies… The Good News is that none of this matters. God is always there to catch us and remind us that it his strength, his wisdom, and his courage we use to fight the battle. I just wanted you to know that -like last night when two friends called to remind me – You are loved…. by God and by me. You have served as an inspiration to everyone who has been around you. Love ya, Sis….
p.s. try gingerale…it balances the tyroid.
@yellowflight1 -
Thank you, my friend. I so appreciate the encouragement. I’ve been down that road far too many times–trusting people who ended up being nothing like what they appeared. It’s disappointing, but I have to say I’ve gotten rather used to it. I wouldn’t call it jaded necessarily, just wiser and pickier about who I open my heart to. I miss the days of being able to just openly and freely give myself over, but there are just too many scars from that, and the worst part is the damage it’s done to people I love.
Hm…I think you may have just inspired a blog entry (somewhere) on “Scars”. Love you mucho. Mwah.