There’s something to be said for being forced to refrain from expressing things (I mean something other than “Man, this sucks!”) when they keep popping to the surface demanding release. Lately it’s been one constant exercise in patience, fortitude, and longsuffering. With God’s help (along with the help of a few wonderful heaven-sent people) I will keep hanging in there and allowing God to hold His hand gently over my mouth (or as Patsy Clairmont puts it, “Shut up in Jesus’ Name”). I do wish things could be less complicated. But hey, at least life is never dull.

One thing I’m doing to remain proactive is staying focused on the ultimate goal of Kingdom building and making God smile. If I stay busy doing that, there won’t be time or energy left for stressing out over what others are doing and saying.

by The Glorious Unseen

Hear our cries Lord,
Hear our prayers.
Take our burdens,
Calm our fears.

God will you make us
A people that love You.
Please take our offerings
That we set before You.
God hear our prayers
That we’re lifting up to You.
God see our tears
That we’re struggling to see through.
God, hear our prayers to You.

In our weakness,
You remain.
When we’re broken,
You sustain.

God will you make us
A people that love You.
Please take our offerings
That we set before You.
God hear our prayers
That we’re lifting up to You.
God see our tears
That we’re struggling to see through.

God hear our prayers.
We lift them to You.
God hear our prayers,
Lord make our hearts true.
Will You make our hearts true?

Hear our prayers Lord.

God will you make us
A people that love You.
Please take our offerings
That we set before You.
God hear our prayers
That we’re lifting up to You.
God see our tears
That we’re struggling to see through.
God hear our prayers
As we lift them to heaven.
We’re praying the angels
Receive and embrace them.
The hopes of the empty,
The cries of the broken.
We’re reaching our hands out,
Oh Lord will You hold them?

By The Glorious Unseen

God, You stand when all has fallen
You embrace the long forgotten
I guess it’s just hard to believe
The Grace You’ve poured out on me
I guess I’m just starting to see
How You’re working in me

This is what makes my head spin
You’re forever Holy
God of all creation
Pour Your life into me
This is so overwhelming
You’re forever Holy
God of my Salvation
Clothe me in Your Glory, yeah

God, You hold when all is breaking
You restore the tired and aching
I guess it’s just hard to believe
The Love You’ve poured out on me
I guess I’m just starting to see
How You’re working in me, whoa Lord

This is what makes my head spin
You’re forever Holy
God of all creation
Pour Your life into me
This is so overwhelming
You’re forever Holy
God of my Salvation
Clothe me in Your Glory

Clothe me in Your Glory
Clothe me in Your Glory

This is what makes my head spin
You’re forever Holy
God of all creation
Pour Your life into me
This is so overwhelming
You’re forever Holy
God of my Salvation
Clothe me in Your Glory

I just found out our lease is ending a month earlier than our original contract stated due to the fact that the woman who wrote the contract did it wrong. So that means a month just got shaved off our lease, just like that. Of course this is bittersweet news since we are thrilled at the thought of having our family back together again sooner but saddened at leaving those we love here a month earlier than we thought. If I’m happy and sad all at the same time, does that make me sappy or had?

I’m working on uploading photos from our time in Tampa. They’ll be up on my photography website hopefully by tonight.

My husband is a very happy boy. And he’s coming home tomorrow for the weekend, so I’m happy about that.

I talked to Laurabelle on the phone earlier. I miss her already.

Our house smelled new again when we walked in last night. Like, so new it burned my eyes a little. Need to burn some candles or incense or something to get that smell out of here. It’s not really that bad, but who wants to smell new house paint unlived-in whatever all the time? I don’t like it.

Last night’s Despite Distance concert was amazing. They did all original songs but had to cut their set in half because they were the headliner and the festival ran way later than it was supposed to. The coordinators were apologetic all over the place, and it all turned out okay in the end even if it was 2:30 am when we got home. They started out with the Halo 3 Theme and people were shrieking and hooting from all over the stadium. It was pretty epic. One teen heard the opening piano part and promptly turned white, put his hand to his forehead, and reverently said, “Oh, Jesus…” I’m not really sure if it was actually Jesus the kid was hailing at that moment, but at least it was Him he called out to in his moment of bliss.

Sharon and some friends came and it was awesome to see her again. Rosie loved hanging out with Becca. Val and Jason brought the Bobbin and I got to hold him while he was awake. I took some pretty nifty photos of him. Bless Gretchen’s heart, she drove out there and even stopped at our house for us and picked up a couple of amps the kids ended up needing (along with the drumsticks that had somehow gotten left behind). Matt and Rosie rode back home with her since we had the Suburban packed full of instruments and stuff so they got to hang with Lizzie and chat during the ride home. I still need to get out there and unload the car. Wait…Bill Cosby says that’s why you have kids…

Thanks to Jimbob and Laurabelle I now have a laptop. I am forever grateful to them for their friendship, their kindness, their hospitality…and of course the laptop! I love them so much. The value of true friends is more and more apparent to us as the days go by.

I have to get some air fresheners going in here. Gross. How long before a new house stops smelling new? We were only gone ten days.

I finally got to go to Crossing. It was everything I’d heard, and more. The worship was phenomenal, and the message couldn’t have been more dead-on. Amazing morning. We had an Element Picnic this afternoon and that was fun. This evening the kids are all together and Steve and I are here with Jimbob and Laurabelle and Sara. We had the most amazing dinner. Laura made baked ziti and I made garlic knots to go with it. Man, was it good. I did feel sad eating such a wonderful dinner when I was pretty sure the kids wouldn’t have something so lovely for dinner.

Last night’s concert with Despite Distance and Crossthread was awesome. DD is playing again south of Orlando this Wed. night and then afterward we will head home (our east coast one, at least). J and L have made us feel so welcome here, and even invited our two oldest sons and their wives to join us on Friday evening for a spectacular Easterling family dinner and game night. I had ALL my babies in ONE PLACE, praise the Lord, and I loved it. I can’t ever thank these special people enough for such a precious gift.

This is a hugely trying time for our family. We are feeling the effects of being separated so much and having to live in two separate worlds at once. It’s really starting to wear on us all. Only by God’s strength and provision will we  be able to get through the next three months. But He is good, all the time, and we’ll make it through.

We continue to wade through the emotional maze that is our life right now. Steve goes to work every day and we spend the evenings together. We’ve been staying at Jimbob & Laurabelle’s and God has been bringing blessings just from the gift of being here with them. I love them so much.

We’ve been back over here visiting for a few days. It’s been nice seeing our two oldest sons and their wives again. I had a not-so-nice asthma attack this morning, which was pretty non-triumphant, but I was okay after half an hour or so with the breeze blowing through the car windows. We had a wonderful dinner tonight with Laurabelle and Jimbob. It’s great to hang out with them again. I miss them so much. Got a truckload (more or less) of bagels from Laura Y. so breakfast tomorrow morning will be good. Trevor is spending the night with Herndog tonight and the day tomorrow with his friend Zack. We watched a couple of episodes of “Band of Brothers” tonight, which was pretty good but very intense. It’s hard for me not to picture Mattie in those scenes, and that can lead to some not-so-pleasant thoughts and subsequent nightmares so I have to be careful not to watch too much of that at once.

So it’s bedtime and I’ll be heading off to bed now.

[another reminiscence]

Tell me you love me, please
I don’t doubt it
I just need to hear it

Before the next heartbeat brings fear
That I’m losing you
Even just a
little part of you
To something neither of us understands
Losing a little
part of us
We’ve never feared would go

Tell me you love me
And hold
me close to you
Let me hear your heart beat a little faster
Like it always
has when I am near
Tell me my eyes still sparkle like they once did
When
you lifted me to your shoulders
And told me to reach for the stars
And
that you wanted to spend forever with me

Tell me you love me
And that
forever is still ours
That we are still whole
Still us, still one
And
that there is no reason to fear
That you will hesitate even for a
moment
When I hold your hand to my cheek
And ask you in a whisper
If,
after all these years, even now
With what is changing all around us
You
still love me



©2004 LLE