June 15, 2008
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Sometimes
you just have to let go. Completely. Leave it all behind, lay it in God’s hands in its entirety, and walk away. Not all leaving is abandonment–I have learned this very clearly, particularly in the past year–and sometimes it’s the only thing that leads to anything positive.
They say hope dies hard, and I’m finding that truer all the time. I’m the type who believes in someone long after everyone else has given up, long after it ceases to be prudent to do so. I have been hurt deeply because of this, yet for some strange reason I have found myself still doing so, for the sake of love. Something tells me that God is really trying to teach me something here…let go and let Him and leave it be. So that’s what I’m doing. I get it, Lord, and I’m sorry it took me so long. Believe me, I am.
I love my sweet, patient, loving husband. He never ceases to amaze me with his compassion and capacity for love. I’m going to miss him so much over the next few weeks.
Valerie, it was wonderful seeing you guys yesterday and holding Little Bit. He is amazing. And thanks for the call this morning. It wasn’t surprising (at all), and I’m not sure whether I’m mildly amused or even more deeply saddened. But it’ll all be okay. It really will. I’m praying for you guys and your church and the tough decisions being made. I love you, girl. Thanks for being real and true and constant.
Comments (2)
i think i’m just the opppsite of you and i give up to early. i get so mad at my sister for letting people walk all over her all the time by staying in friendships too long and getting burned over and over again–it’s always on someone else’s terms and rules and my sister ends up punished for being herself. anyway, i walk away and never look back, gurading my heart–which is probably just as bad. maybe that’s why god brought us together so i could learn from you how to not guard so deeply and be so untrusting, so unsure. you are such a wonderful mentor, even through the miles god knew what he was doing by sending you to me.
surprisingly i am a huge people person and i love people, i just keep a wall up until i can be really sure, and if i get burned i put it right back up. you are good for me.
@mariqueenofscots -
Sometimes I think giving up earlier would be healthier for me as well. There are moments when I think, well, this is just how I was wired so I have to be true to the real me. And other times…well, let’s just say I certainly see the merit in being more discerning and guarded. There is a person God is leading me very clearly (He is no longer making it optional) to steer completely away from. It’s gone way beyond just my love for her being able to overcome everything; her issues are way too deep and I have no choice but to give it all over to Him. Think I’ll be smarter next time? We can always hope.
I love you and admire you so much, my dear friend.
Blue